Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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