So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
