You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
