rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
