My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
