JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
