we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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