I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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