I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
