Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
