i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
