nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
