it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
