I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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