On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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