My liver just broke up with me...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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