That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
