Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I CAN MOONWALK!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
