why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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