well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
