im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
