i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she told me i tasted like america
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
