Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
