That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
