Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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