It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
