just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
