man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
