Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
