So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
