I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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