Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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