I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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