There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
