the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
