WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
