It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
