She's JV to your varsity
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
