One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
