Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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