When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
