when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
