I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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