last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
