I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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