trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
