I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
