I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
