Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
