I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
